Saturday, July 28, 2007

A new season for the fruit

Everything on earth has its own time and its own season - Ecclesiastes 3:1

When 2007 hit me, i knew in my gut that I'll be entering into a new season in my life. The end of 2006 I had already embarked on a lot of soul searching. A lot of me felt like I was floating i through life aimlessly. My heart was restless, my mind, wandering.

Quarter life crisis is no joke ( my boss tells me it's "crisis at the summit"). It took a deep dent in my life and I was slowing rotting to my core. Whilst i searched and in my confusion called out to God - "Where are you? What is going on? Am I losing my mind?". Many of my friends would have heard me asking them - "do you think i need to see a psychiatrist? i think i'm a little mad".

Funnily, as random as my thought are, new paths begin to open for me. Books, people, circumstances, situations, emotions, timing - everyday, little by little strange and wonderful things started to clear the moss that had formed around my eyes the years of me rolling and tumbling.

I'll be leaving my job in mid Oct.

A life that i've gotten so accustomed to for the last 6.5 years. The journey which taught me so much about the hard knocks of life - the triumphs & downfalls, pride & arrogance vs humility, aggresiveness to submission, the "now" vs patience in time, visionary vs being narrow minded, different folks different folks = different relationship dynamics, the ugliness of human nature and people lying and deceiving without an ounce of guilt, but I also take heart that there are also people who thrived above it all.

"You resigned without a job?" , "What? Are you out of your mind?", " You better reconsider your decision".
The road before me is long. Honestly, at this moment the direction is still a little fuzzy. But i am assured that when God has already began His good work within me, He will continue to help me grow in His grace until His task within me is finally finished on that day when Jesus returns.

As a symbolism for myself and as a daily reminder that I have made my choice - that the new has come and the old is gone, i've decided to chop off my hair. Not a biggie for many, but for me, i have to wake up each day and try to tame my unruly hair into a presentable bob! That means a conscious effort on my part.

For all the other lovely lovely fruits of eden who has also been rumbling and tumbling with me ( including mommy, daddy, jo-boy, aunty yvonne & angie) ... Su Fei, Chris, Mark, Kit, Dorah, Jamie, Gin, Michelle, Yuez & Nut and all who have in their own ways polished, nurtured and prayed for this fruit to enter a new season of sweetness, thank you.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Su Fei's Fruit : The Wise Lioness of God

When we were in our teens and through university, Su Fei and I would go into hyper coo & drool mode over pictures from Anne Geddes's gallery. The cutesy pictures of babies in animal suits or as little flowers will melt any harden hearts. We would buy the cards as christmas gift tags, birthday cards and as encouragement cards to be sent to each other. Especially so when we were studying apart - she in australia and me here.

Now, if i'm already coo-cooing and drooling over Anne Geddes, this little angel definitely sent my heart into a hyperdrive of warm fuzzy feeling. The feeling is also surreal, because the picture i'm looking at is not just of any baby but she actually popped out from my very good friend!

Sophie Ariel Sisler, born in Dallas, Texas.
Su Fei & Jason's little angel, born 11th July 2007.

I wish i could meet her in person.
Come back to Malaysia soon Su Fei & Jason!

While we are at it, maybe we should make some money out of her eh, su fei? haha

Saturday, July 21, 2007

New joy in Fruit's life : His name is July

Meet July! Our new furkid at home.
My mom fell in love with him the moment she set eyes on him at the vet. He was up for adoption and my mom fell into the trap of those "take me home" eyes.

He's real tiny ( only 2 months old ) and his paws are the cutest!
He's not as pah-pai as Winston cause he's a cross breed... But my mom adores him.

If this story was from gulliver's travel, Winston is the big men. Uncle Winston is trying to adapt to July. He's been sulking and strutting off everytime July bounces towards us. Too bad for uncle Winston... unlike little Bessy ( er, i think not so little anymore ), July is here to stay!

I think my mom's feeling the empty nest syndrome - probably trying to replace my brother and me with Winston and July!

Friday, July 20, 2007

The Fruit learns about Manuals

I bought a new webcam and very excitedly started to fix it up onto my new laptop ( yeah, i got the Compaq+Streamyx deal ). I quickly unbundled the wires, stuck the usb port into whatever space that's rectangular, put in the plugs at the right places and popped in the CD and clicked "Yes" to install the software.

Sat back and waited for the installation to complete. Whilst waiting, i picked up the webcam's manual. The first line read :

" Do not plug in USB port before installation of software ".
What went through my mind :
"oh shit!!"

Frantic scrambling around trying to unplug the webcam. Needless to say the programme got a little screwed up ( okay a lot screwed up, because i'm still trying to figure out why some of the things ain't working ). I spent half and hour rewinding the processes that i did ( not to mention, I'm not too tech savvy ).

This incident reminded me that almost all the time I am too impatient with the way my life is unfolding. Just like how i deal with new gadgets, very often i jump right into unbundling the gadgets and piecing them together ( because - how difficult can it be? got hole plug in lah! what's so difficult?). And then instead of looking at a masterpiece - i have to spend time asking myself - why isn't this stupid thing working ? Actually I am the one that is stupid.

Just as in life, there is a manual and instruction book for me and intended for me. But i'm so busy thinking " I know! How difficult can it be?" I am not bothered about reading the manual.

In many situations and thorough life's journey, i jump straight into things and then get really angry because "eh - why don't work ah?".

So now, i have to remind myself, to not be in a hurry and rush through things.
To go back to my Heavenly Father ( the maker ) and read my life manual ( His word - the bible ) so that i understand the purpose of my being ( step by step of plans unfolding ) and learn how to troubleshoot instead of frantically trying to reverse processes ( because some parts would have already gone haywire - like my webcam).

So next time, if you ever catch me jumping straight in to fix things without first reading the manual, here is my permission for you to whack me on the head with the manual- as a reminder!