When 2007 hit me, i knew in my gut that I'll be entering into a new season in my life. The end of 2006 I had already embarked on a lot of soul searching. A lot of me felt like I was floating i through life aimlessly. My heart was restless, my mind, wandering.
Quarter life crisis is no joke ( my boss tells me it's "crisis at the summit"). It took a deep dent in my life and I was slowing rotting to my core. Whilst i searched and in my confusion called out to God - "Where are you? What is going on? Am I losing my mind?". Many of my friends would have heard me asking them - "do you think i need to see a psychiatrist? i think i'm a little mad".
Funnily, as random as my thought are, new paths begin to open for me. Books, people, circumstances, situations, emotions, timing - everyday, little by little strange and wonderful things started to clear the moss that had formed around my eyes the years of me rolling and tumbling.
I'll be leaving my job in mid Oct.
A life that i've gotten so accustomed to for the last 6.5 years. The journey which taught me so much about the hard knocks of life - the triumphs & downfalls, pride & arrogance vs humility, aggresiveness to submission, the "now" vs patience in time, visionary vs being narrow minded, different folks different folks = different relationship dynamics, the ugliness of human nature and people lying and deceiving without an ounce of guilt, but I also take heart that there are also people who thrived above it all.
As a symbolism for myself and as a daily reminder that I have made my choice - that the new has come and the old is gone, i've decided to chop off my hair. Not a biggie for many, but for me, i have to wake up each day and try to tame my unruly hair into a presentable bob! That means a conscious effort on my part.
For all the other lovely lovely fruits of eden who has also been rumbling and tumbling with me ( including mommy, daddy, jo-boy, aunty yvonne & angie) ... Su Fei, Chris, Mark, Kit, Dorah, Jamie, Gin, Michelle, Yuez & Nut and all who have in their own ways polished, nurtured and prayed for this fruit to enter a new season of sweetness, thank you.