Monday, June 18, 2007

A painful dent

Ever been trapped in a situation where there's a painful thud, a naggy feeling of lost and hopeful wish that you can blink your eyes, open and it's just a nightmare in a dream.

I crashed my car early Saturday morning. It was raining, i drove towards Eastin, didn't see accident no.1 ( they were trying to move accident case car No.1 out of the way ) and i had to ramp into them. I didn't manage to break in time.
To top that, i couldn't find my handphone ( yea my lovely sexy SE K610 ). It was stolen - not sure when i was at Somo or during the accident.

The car's damage's pretty bad - the bonnets crumpled, lights are gone and i think the radiator busted too.

Everything flashed passed pretty quickly. There were a lot of people, i think i was quite confused at the commotion. What's more painful is, I felt that - oh no, i've gotten myself into trouble again. And that my parents needed to bail me out of this mess... again.
And I'm 28!

The car's under my mom's name. The insurance documents are with my dad. And this is the 2nd accident in less than a year (the first was when the bus ramped into me ). Yea, so whilst i try to think of this incident of :
- everything happens for a reason, it's God's way of telling me something
- preparation for bigger financial lost in life
- i should count my blessings that i'm alive and unhurt
- my friends think i am very blessed that the toll truck guys didn't drive me off somewhere , when i decided to thumb a ride home....i was alone, the car can't move, it was rainning without a phone, couldn't remember any phone numbers besides a dear friend's with a bunch of men
- and KB managed to wake up after realising that his phone had been ringing continously 4 times in a row, and shane who kept calling the toll truck guys to make sure i was driven off to some oil palm estate...
- it was an accident waiting to happen and this has to happen to get bigger harm out of the way?
( 2 friends drove past me without realising it was my car, 2 friends tailed me but lost me - usually i'll take the toll but i drove into Eastin's road that day, the phone went missing so i had no one to call - except home which i chose not to)

How am I? I'm still floating in this "nightmare" and still in a surreal feeling. There's a sad feeling inside, i don't know why.

But through it all, i am learning to comprehend that God was with me through it all. In life, bad and horrible things will happen, sad and incomprehensible feelings will overwhelm me... as for me, I have to learn that HE is my security, if He is for me, no harm can come on me.

erm, am i conflicting myself?