Restless in KL

Everyonce in a while, I am overwhelmed by the feelings of
restlessness
envy
being trapped
frustration

I envision myself in faraway places,
walking through strange lands, seeing different people different places,
being in totally new environment outside of malaysia

then i snap back to reality, only to find myself in my little cubicle at wor
my mind still wandering, my physical being here

This time my urge to get away is even stronger
with the changes in the work place
seeing my friends leaving Malaysia one by one, till there's only a handful of us left

I feel lost
I feel trap
And i wander aimlessly - my heart, my mind, in search of a solution for myself

Some say that the reason why i'm aimless is that i fail to plan ( i say i don't know what i want )
Some say, the grass is always greener on the other side (i say, if i've not tried, how would i know)
Some say it's only phase, i'll just need to find an anchor ( i say, i've found an anchor, but my anchor is like me too )
Some say "you didn't ask God, you walked your own way" ( i say, true, perhaps i'm too afraid what HE will unveil )

I'm hoping that through writing this feelings of frustrations, these feelings of reslestness & my everyday search for answers, I will eventually be at peace with myself, where ever i maybe.

2007 = 2003

The company was doing so well.

We were so sure we could hit the target that was set for 2006.
The year end looks like a time for big celebration.
We were all running the race heading towards the finishing line.

Then the news came.
We lost our biggest client.
With that the year end became murky.
Feelings of - what, where, how became jumbled.

With that lost, our billings for 2007 goes back to 2003.
2003 meant - the struggling times.
It meant the endless rounds of pitching.
It meant lots of struggles and lots of tears.

I don't think it was only monetary loss that was felt,
It is the pain that only a certain group people knew, what it meant going backwards.
For those who have not been there would not have shared the same fight, the same passion, the same pride.

This setback is a good lesson,
to always always be prepared, for you never never know what will happen.

Only God knows.
And this time, He is saying, it's time to take a break. I am giving you guys a wakeup call.
You have been sprinting so long you are turning tired.
Because you think that you are good,
You have become arrogant.
It's time to come back to Me.
For I will give you rest.