my ddbi journey 2001 - 2007

What is my purpose in life?

"you what? ( flabbergasted look )
why? what are you going to do now?
wah you very brave ah, quit with NO JOB ah..!??!!
you don't know your plans yet?
are you going into full time ministry?
you mean you won't be working anymore ah?"

I've been getting these questions since i told people that i'll be leaving DDBI. I didn't panic at first. But after all the panicky questions from people, i'm beginning to ask myself if i've done the right thing. I guess the sense of security is really important, and the fear of the unknown paralysing. I understant now why people rather stay slaves to their jobs passionless than to discover their truest potential. One of the worry -warts is my mom. She has already started on her barrage of questions ( signs that she is worried, no...let me correct that, Freaking WORRIED!).

I'm still trying to piece together my next move. What I know is this:
This is a season where my walk of faith will be exciting. I chose this road. To walk out to discover what brings joy and meaning to even my working life. The last couple of years I bought into the ideology of building brands. Only to realise that brands are dead. They hold no meaning, perhaps only to the owners of the brand.

I've been reading about the old testament characters and i am deeply encouraged by Moses, Abraham and Esther
( cheh.. like my old friends like that ). I realise that all these time I've been like a little frog under the coconut shell. My vision has been so myopic. It was really about climbing the advertising ladder - AE to AAD, then maybe regional positions then i couldn't see beyond that.

Once I started to look upwards, God started to put wonderful & inspiring people in my life , my aunties, pastors, missionaries, friends,cell members etc to show me, He is a God of BIG PLANS. And it's not just promotions in a company but claiming Nations for Him and impacting lives of generations. Wow! I am awed.

Just thought I share with you guys the little thoughts i have. I try to remind myself everyday, that when I walk in the will of God and remember that in all that I do, to remember his purpose first, He will guide me and propel me to heights that is far more than all that I could see or do.

I'm scared but I'm also excited and looking forward to the challenging walk ahead whilst resting in His peace. I'm already thinking bout what i'll be doing during my transition.

2 projects which I hope to take it off the ground till end of the year :
1. Tuition for kids in the shelter home ( i've shared with some of you, so call me if you want to volunteer as we need at least 10 more ). It's on Thursdays, 7-9pm.

2. Working on a project for the Malaysian Rare Disorder Society together with a friend to promote awareness and to raise funds through and art auction.

Pray with me as I journey to discover my purpose.

It feels so cold

It's funny how when you've resigned and you've come to the tail end of your notice, people ( bosses & collegues ) somehow think that you're invisible and yet you'll still have to do the work?

I wonder if this is a normal ? This is my first job, so I really don't know.

I wonder if it's me, or people just don't know how to deal with someone who will be leaving the job ?
It's quite sad to say this but it is leaving a bitter taste in mouth the way things are being handled over here. Deadlines are still flying around, I'm expected to do the work yet there's no form of proper form of delegation of what do i do with it after. The feeling is , just do the work , don't ask. If we feel like it, we'll include you in, if not why don't you just blend into the wall or the carpet.

Now i know why some people leave this place feeling cold.

Domesticating the fruit

I’m very careful that for my knife holding lesson today, I do not stab myself or lose my pinky altogether ( after the cut i was awarded for slaying the golden tortoise ). I learnt how to cut a pineapple today. I learnt it under the watchful eye of my dad, who is a pro with the knife. I learnt all my garlic and onion chopping skills from him. He is also extremely good with cutting fruits.

Doing documents, playing the piano, public speaking, organising things and implementing them, negotiating, using the computer – no problem. It’s really easy peasy. But doing housework, I guess I have a lot of head knowledge but not enough practical knowledge. Even downright to holding a knife properly , is at the moment a big challenge for me. The pineapple as you can guess is in the oddest mushiest shape possible. I think I should invest some money to get a few fruits and start mutilating them on my own as practice. Especially weird looking fruits with torns, skin & super ripe ones where it’ll turn to mush in my hands.

The knife holding lessons came about as I realised that before I even try to attempt to kill people with my cooking, I should learn the basics of :

• Choosing fresh groceries – veg, chicken, meat, fruits ( my daddy is excellent in this. He does the grocery shopping).
• Cleaning the food thoroughly after it is bought from the supermarket
• Cutting them into the shapes... it is supposed to look like
• Storing them to ensure freshness ( wah i sound so si lai – i think if i did an ad for fridges i’ll have good insights!)

So, I’ve embarked myself on a series of “watch” and try lessons from my mom. Saturday mornings at home is marketing day. So daddy will grocery shop while mom unpacks the veg, fruits, poultry, fishes, meat etc, clean them ( and i mean thoroughly clean them – scrubbed down, deboned & sanitised - to boiling them and removing the fats and dirty blood).

Those of you who’ve stepped into my house would know that there isn’t a hint of dust anyway, the walls are white and scrubbed clean, the kitchen always looks like it’s never been used ( though my mom had just cooked up a storm ), the porch is always clean etc. My mom is a clean freak, sanitation freak etc. Funnily, I’ve gotten none of her housekeeping excellence except to be “fussy” with my surroundings and not do the work myself , hah! So the thought of clumsy me trying a hand in her kitchen is quite a nightmare for her.

So far, i’ve gone through the lessons at a glance and a “try one fish, one fruit, one chicken at a time” before my parents takes whatever good looking produce there is and shoo me away for mutilating all their groceries.

I am one person that learns through experience and motions of doing it through practice. I guess i would need to find other avenues and opportunities to do this. So, anyone of you want to invite me over to your house to mutilate, i mean chop, cut, clean your groceries, call me!

Next on my list for learning, is how to handle a sewing machine and sewing. Good grief.